It’s still not done! I’ve not even started. The list of good intentions from the beginning of the day remains untouched.
The other priorities overtook what was intended to be completed during the day.
Does this sound familiar? You had planned to do things for yourself but somehow time ran out. Tasks or requests from people ended up being a higher priority on your list despite the good intentions.
If I had to ask you if you are self destructive, you are most likely to say no. Often self destructive behaviour is deemed to be alcohol or drug abuse. You don’t even consider putting yourself last as being destructive.
You are seen by society or your family as kind, caring and considerate but deep down you are neglecting yourself.
You are not being kind to yourself. Regardless if you are a mother or not, I am sure us people pleasers (yes, me included) can be self-destructive.
In the long run, if you continue to neglect yourself, you will become depleted. Exhausted. Angry. Resentful. Until your reach a point where there is nothing left to give.
Does this sound familiar?: “I can’t do something for myself because they need me to do x (insert the task from someone else). I am responsible. I care so I have to do x”.
I am not asking your to be irresponsible or to be nasty. There are certain responsibility in life that are important. But you matter too!
It’s worth taking a step back and evaluating tasks:
- Is this something that I have decided is important?
- Or is this something that someone else believes I should do?
- Or is this an expectation that you have placed on yourself but projected it as an obligation from someone else? (By this I mean, you feel compelled to do something because you believe it’s what you have to do because someone else expects it of you, meanwhile they don’t. It is just your own perception and not a real expectation from someone else).
Once you have established the true priority of the task. Then you are able to evaluate how important is really is in your life. How important it is for you. Remember, you matter.
This is not a once off process. Be kind to yourself. It will be an on-going process and sometimes you will slip back into self-destructive habits. That is OK too. Don’t judge yourself for slipping back. Acknowledge it and move on.
Be kind to yourself. Loving and caring for yourself is NOT selfish. If you are not able to be care for yourself, how are you going to be the best version of yourself for other people.