You want to feel love and connected. You want to feel special and treasured for who you are. But you feel scared of being hurt and even worse, rejected. You have been hurt and rejected in the past and don’t want to feel that pain again. You want to feel worthy, good enough, you want to feel seen. Not just for the you that you pretend to be. You want to be loved for you, deeply.
But what if I am not good enough? What if they don’t like my imperfect body, my smile, my opinion, my hairstyle, my quirks, my beliefs (or insert your imperfect concern here)? There is comfort in perfection and certainty but none of us are prefect, even if we pretend to be, we are not. I agree, the fear of exposing your imperfections is scary, it makes us vulnerable.
What is vulnerability? Is it the emotional vulnerability you experienced in a relationship or friendship, or, the vulnerable innocence you see in children living in a hostile world, or the physical vulnerability you feel when you have been injured or disabled, or the vulnerability we experience after a loss of a person, pet or relationship? However you chose to view it, this exposure of allowing others to see your imperfection is the gateway to connecting with them.
Yes, vulnerability can be the core of other feelings like shame, fear, and a struggle for worthiness but it is also the very place that you experience joy, connection, belonging and love. Sometimes you may choose to numb this vulnerability for the fear of experiencing shame and unworthiness but by so doing we numb everything. This leads us to want to seek purpose and meaning in life.
If you are brave enough, vulnerability reveals a beautiful part of you that is necessary to connect with others. It also stops you from controlling and predicting the way things should be. Thus, allowing you to be free and open to the love and connections that is there.
How to you build up courage to be brave enough you may ask? Be kinder to yourself, show yourself more compassion. Believe in yourself, I believe in you. FLY – first love yourself.
Thank you for being here, just as you are. You are brave, you are worthy and you are enough.
P.S. I would love to hear from you. Do get in touch here.
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