The sound of the door bell early in the morning when you are not expecting anyone, only to discover that its the Police offering condolences for the passing of a loved one.
That initial disbelief and then denial that runs through your head when your heart knows that he isn’t coming back.
Over the last few weeks, there have been 3 losses. Gia, the bird and partner to the other Cockatiel; the passing of an unknown man in a self-defense fight; and Jacob who was killed by a drunk driver whilst innocently walking home.
Who or what have you lost?
Was it the relationship that you had anticipated?
The goal you hoped to achieve?
An expectation that you had planned your life around?
The sobering realisation that life is short. A saying that you have heard many times.
Death is final.
Game Over with no chance to begin again.
What would you do today if you knew you were not going to be here tomorrow?
Who would you contact and what would you say?
Yes, you can choose to rationalise it by saying it was their time – which is true – but it doesn’t take away the human element of it.
All the emotions that accompany loss which are far more than the stages of grief.
You are not a textbook and whatever your experience emotionally or in your physical body is valid and real.
Feeling all of that or the numbness seems so far removed from the fact that life carries on regardless.
Like a mushroom on a dead tree, nature graciously processes death and rebirth on an on-going basis.
But as humans, we need time to process, to feel, to heal. It is only through healing that you will be able to let go.
By letting go, I mean, healing the emotion and the feelings that the loss has evoked in you. Not the memory or the lessons that you carry with you from your experience.
Love from my tender heart to yours