Have you ever compared yourself to someone else? Yes? Whether it’s your outfit, your car, your relationships, your job, your pet or your income, we have all compared at some point in our lives.
Comparison can diminish your self-esteem, leaving you feeling less worthy, unhappy. It robs you from your ability to create and contribute. It can cause you to be discontent with either yourself as a person or aspects of your life.
Comparison distracts you from being yourself. When you focus on others, you are distracted from yourself and your unique ability to contribute to the world.
What can we do about comparison? How can you make it work for you? Simply by being aware of your comparison and actively follow the steps below you can make the most of it. It’s as simple as AEC:
A) Aspect – Identify what aspect of the person or object you admire.
B) Emotion – Identify what emotion that aspect would generate in you.
C) Clone – Generate that emotion for yourself by making use of your sensors.
For example: You find yourself comparing your own relationship with another couple. You feel that your relationship is inadequate on some level. You acknowledge your comparison and identify the aspect that you admire as being one of close connection. You are able to identify love as the emotion that you would feel from a close connection. By using your senses, what are the little things that would enable you to feel love? Perhaps it would be the taste of chocolate, the smell of lavender, admiring a sunset, listening to the sound of falling rain, or cuddling a soft toy.
You can keep creating various opportunities for yourself to feel that emotion by engaging your senses. You may find that your chosen action or sense will differ depending on your mood. Perhaps two hours ago eating chocolate would evoke a feeling of love but now, you would feel love by drinking an ice cold drink as its scorching hot outside. Or perhaps it is not a taste that you would prefer but rather a smell, freshly cut grass.
We tend to become distracted and focus more on comparing ourselves with others when we are not in a good space. The A E C technique should help you manage your comparison and improve the space that you are in at any given moment.