Can You Manage 20 Seconds?

Whilst at the coast enjoying the fresh sea air, I have realised that people are so busy with themselves that they really aren’t interested in your unhappiness but rather your truth.

Often in the rat-race you lose sight of what really matters in life. Fundamentally, you want to be happy but often you find yourself being a people pleaser and end up doing things you actually don’t want to do.

Being genuine is something that other people can sense and appreciate. Generally, people don’t care what car you drive or where you live but more the core of who you are and being true to yourself.

Oriah writes about being true to yourself, to who you are to your utmost core regardless of what other people think.

Being different is not bad. It means that you will find unspoiled paths and adventures that no one else has discovered yet.

People have more respect for you if you are honest. Say what you mean, don’t feel obligated to do things that you don’t want to do as it will only make you unhappy or resentful. If you don’t want to drink alcohol or swim (or insert whatever it is), then don’t feel obligated by those that do.  That is their path, not yours.

Deep down you know what is right for you and it is very likely to be completely different from those around you. That is OK. It is refreshing. Life would be so boring if everyone was the same.

Go for it! Be honest with yourself and be true to who you are.

You will find that the more your honour yourself, the better you will feel deep inside and the more those people around you will respect you.

Put boundaries and do what makes your heart sing rather than what you assume will make you acceptable to those around you at the time.

This takes courage and bravery but the more often you practice bravery to honour what is true to who you are the easier it will be to do so in future. You will respect yourself and ultimately be respected by others.

If your innermost being is telling you not to do something, however simple, then don’t do it.
It is important to add that there is a difference between fear that stops you from achieving your goals and being a people pleaser.

As mentioned last week, having a crap board can help you with distinguishing between fear-based reactions and responses versus being true to who you are.​

Installing boundaries is a way of honouring yourself and can but done. Even in situations that are difficult – remember that it takes just 20 seconds of blind courage. As Benjamin Mee, so eloquently puts it:  “That sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

Are you brave enough to for just 20 seconds?

The more often you blindly leap out into courage, the easier it will become. Start small if you must. Tell your friends you actually don’t want to swim or that you would rather be reading your book or doing something that makes you happy. How other people choose to react is not your responsibility.The only reason other people become angry or disappointed is because you are not doing what they want you to do.

Are you living to please others or to be true to who you really are? People will learn to respect your boundaries and those people who don’t, probably don’t need to be in your life or if they do, they will adapt to the boundaries you put in place.